JEALOUSY: AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE TO A REAL OR PERCEIVED THREAT TO A VALUED RELATIONSHIP.
We've all been there. At one point in our lives, we've been jealous of someone--or possibly something. Whether it be our siblings, friends, peers, boyfriend, girlfriend, or TV for whatever reasons. Is jealousy a good thing or is it a feeling people should never experience? Is it destructive or is it beneficial? In this post, I will attempt to answer some questions about jealousy in a romantic-love relationship.
Some level of jealousy is functional in a relationship. Sometimes it encourages someone to think about an intimate relationship and look for constructive ways to help the relationship grow. However, when jealousy becomes too intense, it can become an issue and may even lead to abuse or violence in an intimate relationship.
Therapists see jealousy as a self-defeating emotion; but does it really matter what therapists think?? However, they make a good point; jealous people just make themselves miserable by constantly worrying about what their partners are doing and it just makes the whole relationship tense. The jealous partner is often insecure about losing their significant other, which is why they react so drastically and try to control the relationship, which may drive the other partner away.
So...if we can't control our jealousy what do we do? Well, first make sure you have your own issues all figured out. If you have low self-esteem, try and figure ways to feel better about yourself because your boyfriend or girlfriend loves you for who you are, and you being jealous isn't going to keep them closer, but staying true to yourself and trusting your partner will help your relationship grow and bloom like a flower! :D You can't control how your partner behaves, but you can control how you perceive a certain event. For example, if you think your significant other flirts a lot..maybe he or she doesn't..maybe he or she is just really friendly and open to everyone and you have to be ok with that. If you often feel jealous because of what happened in your past relationships..DON'T. Start fresh and give your new partner a chance and trust them. You have to open yourself and can't let the past dictate your present life. It may seem scary at first, but let go of the past, in order to live in the present!
IF it is impossible to not feel jealous sometimes, just follow the tips below to make sure the Green-Eyed Monster doesn't destroy the love and bond you have with your partner:
1. Confront the jealousy and talk about it with your partner (Jealousy is a sign that there is a problem and it should not be ignored.)
2. Discuss how much each person is committed to the relationship and wants to maintain it overtime. If both of you would like to continue your relationship, then
3. Talk about ways that you both can work together to build a closer and more intimate relationship.
So, that was a short blog on what jealousy is and kind of why people feel jealous. I hope the tips help tone down the jealousy and if not, make sure to TALK TALK TALK. Communication is SOO important in a relationship. Without it, a relationship won't work, no matter how much love there is. Comment if you have anything to add :)
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