Lesson 1: Anger/Conflict Resolution

1. So always remember anger is a “normal” emotion, one that we all feel at times, but that is NOT a BENEFICIAL emotion—especially when we act out of anger.

2. Resolve Conflicts Early: If decision that should be made is not made, this could lead to the development of a problem, which would then need to be solved. If problem not solved, it could lead to a crisis, which is more difficult to resolve.
3. Rules for Fighting Fair:

1.      Avoid Ultimatums

2.      Say what you really mean, instead of beating around the bush or lying.

3.      Use “I” Statements

4.      Don’t try to guess what the other person is thinking or feeling, JUST ASK.

5.      Never use sex to smooth over a disagreement: the other partner will feel pressured into the decision and resent their partner later on.

6.      Refuse to fight dirty: No verbal abuse, Pretending things are ok when they’re not, etc.

7.      Resist giving the silent treatment: Conflict doesn’t go away by itself—in fact, it may increase anger in the other person

8.      Focus on the PRESENT issue

9.      Call time-out: when arguments get too intense (remember to come back to it after both have cooled down!)

10.  Always go for closure: make sure the conflict is resolved.

        Facts about Anger: 

-Anger is a feeing
-Universal
-nonexpression lead to increased risk off coronary disease
-Venting of anger "catharsis" only value when sets stage for resolution
-aggression does not lead to resolution
-anger directed toward those close to us

Myths:

-Venting "releases" anger
-women get less angry than men
-some people never get angry
-anger always results from frustrations
-active sports/competitive work "release" anger


Ask PinkFlyingCow: If anyone has questions, feel free to comment and I will help in anyway I can!